Goddesses are not for everyone. When workshops, books and the like have Goddess in their title, I always know it’s not for me. Not that I don’t like Goddesses, I do, but most Goddess workshops don’t include the Goddesses I tend to worship in my sexological bodywork practice Kali, Durga, Hecate. These Goddesses aren’t airbrushed beauty versions of Lakshmi, or Aphrodite or Isis. These Goddesses are not beauty maidens dressed and adorned to seduce men, their breasts are not perky or pushed up, their bodies stray outside the cultural norm, and the sacred messages they offer can feel like a punch to the stomach or a lightning bolt to your illusion.
I fact, I believe that the valorization of these receptive Goddesses actually works against women in many ways and in particular in their sexual relationships.
You see, the Goddesses I worship stand outside the definition of most Goddess workshops because they do not fit the “divine feminine” model that most are selling. Most divine feminine talk has its roots in essentialist feminism – the notion that all “women” have at their core certain qualities, dispositions, energies and they are all about love, divine mothering, receptivity, yada yada. They expand this notion to include Earth as Woman, and argue that ” if only women ran the world… if only the divine feminine aka the Goddess were valued, we could save the Earth from being raped as She is. Women and Earth are both being defiled, and men are at the root of its destruction.
I just don’t buy it. Never did. Never will.
That’s not to say that I don’t have strong ideas about the beliefs and behaviour that men and women are socialized to accept (the hegemony of gender construction also renders invisible and openly punishes any gender variation from this dualistic notion). What makes my use of Goddess different is that I value all expressions of the divine and that includes energies that are typically slotted into “masculine” behaviour.
And the Goddesses I most often witness and invoke relate to the YONI. And let me tell you, she is FIERCE.
I often ask women if their yoni was a person, what would she say? What does want to tell you?
In almost all cases, the answers are direct, definitive and very powerfully clear.They come from the warrior goddesses, the ones who will slay anything outside of authenticity, clarity, personal power, dignity, truth and honouring. She will not tolerate anything other than being treated as a QUEEN. She doesn’t pretty up her language or her delivery. She cuts through any illusion, bullshit or behaviour that diminishes dignity and self worth.
Here are some things that the Goddess called YONI have declared in my esxological bodywork healing sessions with women:
You have not protected me like you are supposed to! You let men in when they did not honour you!
I’m not letting you have sex. You have no discernment and so I’m closing all doors.
To the men who gained entrance and hurt or dishonored you: Fuck you! You don’t deserve to come in and you won’t get in again!
To women who could not say no to the male advances: I’m closing the gates because you can’t protect yourself ! I”m taking over here (resulting in vaginal pain and closed entrances)
The yoni will prevent
Women who have been acculturated into tolerating non consensual touch usually have a yoni who has shut down, become vaginismus, befit the Goddess
My use of Goddess is dependent on the context and this article focuses on women who have sexual trauma in their body’s history.
Well, I ‘m hear to tell you that Divine feminine also includes motherfucking warrior goddesses who won’t take any bullshit illusion or narrowing of their powers. The energies that who up when I’m doing yoni healing are fierce warriors who are standing on guard for trespassers and thieves. The yonis I have met fight off those that the divine feminine tolerated and submitted to…
I’ve never stood in this, I’ve never found it to reflect who I am, and I’ve never believed that men, gender variants and androgynes like me have to buy this limiting and dehumanizing model of who we are. Dualistic nonsense and narrowBullocks I say! Gods and Goddesses have reflected all of the possibilities
qualities of the GoddessHuman qualities, human emotions and
But to me, these Goddesses are needed for women more than ever.I’m talking here about the Yoni Warriors.
They are too busy fighting motherfuckers, killing demons and blasting away your illusory fairyrtale notions of w what spirituality is.
youth obsessions aren’t maiden youth focusetake shit from anyone and don’t look pretty
I have never felt very comfortable with the way “Goddess” is used in today’s workshops about healing, spirituality and tantra.
It feels like a new form of branding to a norm of beauty, loving, living that fuels a duality I’ve never been comfortable with – gender division and definition. I’ve never been comfortable with the notion of an essential feminine or a brand of feminism that declares if only Women were ruling the world, all would be well. I also don’t believe in what their brand of being a “woman’ is. Not to mention how it alienates anyone who lives within a sense of gender variation.
It reeks too much of commodification and essentialism for my comfort. The beautiful women, the skinny, the ones who fit North American cultural ideal are the ones who become adored and epitomized as the icons of tantra – and so their books sell, their blogs get the most traffic and their tantric services most bought. Meanwhile women who don’t fit this narrow, commodified bandwidth of tantric beauty, age, shape or temperament fall outside the commercial potential and so tantra’s capacity to transform lives of women becomes limited by its market branding.
In other realms, healing, and spirituality, the Goddess brand serves to attract women who are interested in exploring spirituality and it’s marketing bandwidth tends to look at Goddess in may of the same ways she shows up in tantra: flowing robes, gentle, beautifully dressed and adorned, receptive, loving, beautiful and in my view essentially feminine.
I have always felt uncomfortable with these kinds of workshops, discussions and as receptive, , the divine feminine and its capacity to reach all women is of tantra and the market dictates what tantra is and looks like and who can fit the expectation. so the ideal narrows to become the unattainable and once again, women of all sizes, looks, and energetic akeodd shapen, tthe
crones, the androgynous women don’t fit.. and so Goddess becomes another way we don’t measure up.
For me, Goddess talk seldom reflects the typical Goddess